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psst -- want a ficlet? - ChibiRisu-chan
March 27th, 2006
04:54 pm


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psst -- want a ficlet?

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Date:January 29th, 2006 01:08 pm (UTC)
XD; Well. Obviously I am a new to your LJ, I'm here from sesshiyuki in fact. I absolutely adore Side Effects so I was wondering...Might I have a drabble too?

#1 (if you know it that is) HP:Snape and Draco(not together romantically);
Snarky!Snape trying to give Innocent!Little Draco 'the talk'

#2 Kakashi/Iruka in the SE universe. Shopping for baby clothes.
[User Picture]
Date:February 11th, 2006 07:35 am (UTC)

^_^;;; I know Harry Potter, but the fandom scares the bejeesus out of me and I don't really want to touch it with a ten-foot cattle prod, so here's #2:

13 for Toriko_ame - Kakashi and Iruka shopping for baby clothes

"How about camouflage?" Kakashi suggested. "I mean, we don't know whether to look for pink or blue, so camouflage is a nice neutral--"

"Camouflage is NOT a 'nice neutral' whatever the hell--"

"Of course it is!" Kakashi sounded positively indignant. "It's designed to blend into everything! That's why they call it camouflage--"

"--but not for a baby!" In desperation, Iruka reached over and grabbed the closest splash of sunny yellow he spotted. "This is neutral for a baby, Kakashi. It's not pink or blue and it's still -- still -- baby-colored."

"That," Kakashi said severely, "is not baby-colored. Not unless the baby has the worst case of jaundice in the history of--"

"It's pastel," Iruka said, struggling for reason. "Pastel is automatically baby-colored."

"Put a baby out in the middle of the forest in that and see how long it takes a wolf to find him, I dare you--"


"Of course I won't! I'm just saying that thing you're holding has nothing to do with baby-colored-ness!"

"That 'thing' is a--" Iruka stopped, and blinked at it, and then looked at the label more closely.

"...See, you don't know what that thing is either," Kakashi grumped, folding his arms and firmly ignoring the appalled saleswoman who was hovering twenty feet away and slowly inching further back.

"That can't be right," Iruka murmured, leaning harder than he meant against the shelf; Kakashi had an arm around his waist before he was even aware of moving.

"What can't be right, love?"

"This." He held up the tiny yellow flannel thing. "Newborns can't be that little. Look at the little feet. That'd mean the baby's toenails would be--" He flailed for a comparison, and then gave up and said, "a lot too tiny to expect me to trim safely, especially when the things wiggle around -- this can't be right, I can't take care of anything this size; my hands are too big. Your hands are too big. Anyone's are. Maybe we should ask Sakura-kun; she's got smaller hands -- and she's trained as a medic, in case she slips with the clippers -- right, I'll ask Sakura-kun if she--"

"Iruka," Kakashi said carefully, "what size did you think babies were?"

"They should be at least knee height," Iruka said, distressed. "I mean, just look at me; the baby ought to be knee height or so, aren't I? I've gotten so big around; there's no way the baby would be this tiny... is there...?"

Kakashi gathered Iruka into his arms and rubbed his back gently, trying to think of some tactful way to explain the difference in scale between newborn infants and the grade-schoolers Iruka was accustomed to teaching.

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Date:February 11th, 2006 07:36 am (UTC)

"It's not rational to expect a grown person to have to not break anything so tiny," Iruka said. "I mean -- those dolls the girls play with -- they're scaled smaller because they're for children, aren't they?"

"Not really, no," Kakashi said.

"How do you know? You're an only child too!" Iruka was sounding nearly panic-stricken, and trembling in his arms.

It really wouldn't, Kakashi thought, be the best time to explain that he'd been sent to smother newborn children in their cribs, so that there would be no blood and no evidence of foul play, because newborn infants died silently all the time; it was the least suspicious way to eliminate an inconveniently born heir, really.

Instead, he patted Iruka's belly with a gentle hand, and said, "Let's take this over to the toy aisle and do a comparison. And maybe we can get a doll. An early birthday present of sorts."

"And something to practice with," Iruka added, still shaken, looking at a pair of tiny socks. "Look at those. How am I not going to clip off a toe by mistake?"

"All of your students used to be that little once," Kakashi observed.

"Yes, but they've had the decency to grow since then!"

Not going to laugh. Not going to laugh. Not going to-- oh hell.

"Kakashi! I'm being serious!"

That's the problem, love... "I'm just saying," Kakashi wheezed, fending off a beating from the tiny yellow flannel thing. "I'm just saying... ask their parents...! They've dealt with them at that size...!"

"Oh!" Iruka stopped hitting him immediately, and turned toward the cashier. "You're right -- let's go! I'll go pay for this, you go find someone's mother--"

"Easy, love," Kakashi murmured, holding him still. "They'll still be mothers half an hour from now, and tomorrow. We have time."

"Not that much time."

"But we have enough." Kakashi brushed a kiss against Iruka's forehead, and added, "Besides, we're going to need a doll to practice on too, right?"

"...Oh. Right. Which way are the toys?"

"Left at sporting goods and on past the adult-games display with the D-lock," Kakashi answered without hesitation. Iruka looked at him with half-lidded eyes. "...What?"

"I would ask if you always navigate by the type of lock on the adult materials, except that I don't really need to hear the answer."

It got you irritated enough to stop panicking, didn't it, Kakashi thought to himself with an inner smile, but all he said aloud was "Whatever you say, dear."

[User Picture]
Date:February 11th, 2006 05:55 pm (UTC)
XD Iruka worrying about clipping off the kid's toes is just too cute and funny. The perfect worrying new-mom, hey. And Kakashi being all fatherly 'everything's going to be alright, relax'....awww <3
[User Picture]
Date:March 27th, 2006 04:32 pm (UTC)
Seriously, though, where was Iruka going to learn about babies? Only child, orphaned at 12, male schoolteacher of kids who were old enough to walk and throw pointy things, not a lot of newborn-infant experience in there. Poor Iruka. I make his life hell some days... ^^;;
[User Picture]
Date:June 10th, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
LOL, sorry I found this so late, and oh my Iruka panicking at the thought of just how small a baby is let alone the size of a new-born. In fact in spite of Iruka being pregnant and he knows the size that he is, he hasn't thought about the rest of it, has he? LOLOL...sorry, but I can still remember just how small my boys were in my arms. Iruka has a bigger surprise coming. And just how will Kakashi deal with that?
[User Picture]
Date:April 17th, 2007 01:46 am (UTC)
*Dying laughing* Oh, gosh... Kakashi is so good for him. And this is the first time I have EVER heard a pregnant person complain that babies were too SMALL! Being beaten to death with a little yellow flannel thing... HEE HEE HEE HEE.

I wonder if he'll panic over chewing his baby's foot off when the other parents say you can bite down infant's fingernails if they won't hold still for trimming. :3
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